For each person Personal boundaries are unique to them. They are informed by our values and beliefs and are directly linked to our self esteem. Weak Personal Boundaries can leave you feeling vulnerable, taken for granted and frustrated. We can feel intruded upon physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically.
When we decide to put boundaries in place we are taking the decision to protect our goals and dreams. At first, we can feel guilty and ashamed, and worried we’ll offend. But taking a stand to have boundaries in your life can be the difference between living your life the way you wish to. It is about understanding your value, knowing your priorities and making sure that others do as well. It is about you creating the space and time for you to flourish and achieve your goals and your life dreams.
When we give from a place of love, within our own comfort zone we enter into a flow of giving and receiving. Often the feeling of frustration and annoyance are a sign a boundary has been breached. When we are left feeling overwhelmed or anxious or bullied, despair or powerlessness our boundaries are chronically disrespected. Our emotions alert us to this. A decision on what boundary is needed can help elevate the emotional charge.
Establishing a boundary that is aligned with your authentic self, gives a voice to our preferences and desires. Preference and desires come from your heart. It is important we honour these. Boundaries can be healing. When our boundary is expressed and met by those who care and love us, our emotions are validated, seen, heard and respected.
Setting personal boundaries is a signal that you have your own back, you’re standing up for yourself and asking for what you desire and need, you are sharing you and expressing it through a boundary. Boundary setting is an important part of taking part of you. Boundaries help us feel safer and more comfortable. It taps into our own self-compassion and self-esteem. Boundary setting provides us with a sense of self. Our own set of boundaries make us uniquely individual.
There is a myth that you have to be hard core to put a boundary in place, but placing boundaries can be mastered through ease and grace. The type of boundary and how it is implemented will depend on the situation and person, sometimes it will be implemented with some lightheartedness because it’s a close friendship and offense is not intended, other times a direct approach is used. The key here is to preserve the established relationship to whatever level it’s connected to you.
Getting started! When you start to express a boundary, and action it, you may want to take back the boundary you’ve just asserted. There are lots of reasons for this but often fear underpins it.
Notice what behaviours and situations make you feel uncomfortable, angry or resentful. Trust your body and instincts. Give yourself permission to keep your emotional peace.
We can master the art of avoiding conflict and speak from our own authentic space.
How? Lets:
- Clearly define you, who are you?
- Know your limits, what’s your saturation point?
- Mindfully Communicate your boundaries -Prepare your phrases, Try on and tweak phrases, build your own personal toolkit, -Practice makes perfect.
